have you ever felt like you've just woken up from a long nice dream, a phase of life when people usually say "you see what you want to see"? and you suddenly just snap out of it. for some reasons, out of the blue, that cold hard fact comes onto you like a nuclear bomb and doesn't even give you a minute to escape. well, i guess it's just the way it is. i've been naive enough, stupid enough, ignorant enough and blind enough to just think that things were the way i thought they were. but i guess life has certain way to surprise us, a bitter and harsh surprise it is though.

despite how optimistic my usual self is, i've got to say: IT HURTS, a lots. sometimes i just ask myself why i am on this track, why i am doing all these things. and then i realise that there is no better solution.

it's time. i've got other things to do. concentrate. do it. let's not lose focus. use a guillotine if you must. just be sure about what you want, for now at least...

this won't happen again...