Arhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! "Did you rebond your hair?" - yes, that's the ultimate question that a lot of people tent to ask me these days! MADNESS, pure madness lah -.-" and for all those who are wondering the same out there, i did NOT! all parts of my body are natural can. siao!

well, for all i know, my life's been really hectic. lots of things happened lately. school work, other things. dead -.-". school sucks. and i'm really surprised at the capacity of my body, well, both physical and mental. 2 nights straight without sleep and here i am, still survive. the only thing is that i get pimples -.-" (shit!) and my eyebags got bigger. anyone know how to get rid of those 2 evil circles, tell me please :). and one thing for certain, i couldn't sleep not because of any particular reasons, but just because i couldn't! i think something is wrong with my health lately. feel a bit worried. headache and drowsiness every now and then. feel tired more often. but again, still cannot tell my parents coz they will worry sick. really want to go for a total check up. but no time. and no money! -.-" i think i'll be damn happy when these 2 years of chaos are finally over.

on another note, meeting my old friends, who are already in universities all around the world (well, vietnam is not counted coz compared to studying university there, singapore is definitely worth it) made me terribly regret my decision to come here. 3 years of my life is wasted. it's not that i've never regretted that decision before, but i overcame those feelings so quickly that they merely left any side effects. thanks to all the friends i found here who bring joy to me in singapore. hmm, while i'm on the topic, there's one more thing i think a lots lately. up until last year, i've no second thought about going away to US or UK for university. but come this year, things've changed. new friends, the close ones. coming to singapore 3 years ago, i've already made my sacrifces for what people called "for a better future" or "once in a life time experience" by cutting off lots of friendships back home. well, it's not really cutting off, but all my friendships were severely damaged for that decision. and friends are just minor compared to family. i've experienced enough happiness at the airport the days i came back and sadness the days i left. i've seen my mom crying and worrying enough. i've heard my sister shouting goodbye enough. i've been craving a lots at first. now i wonder whether i'm courageous enough to make that kind of sacrifice again, at the end of next year. i'm afraid. i'm scared. someone please enlighten me.

and talking about friends, i've just talked to Happy, the emo Happy, can you believe it :D. well, she gave some comments that made me think. she said about us, the 7 of us and i quote: "a group of people who dont say out their deepest thoughts, and just be happy with one another, a sense of escapcism", "sometimes like we come together to escape from the harsh reality to be happy". well, for all i know, it's not me. i didn't come to you guys to escape. i came to you guys to be truly happy. and indeed i deeply am, to be with every single one of you. really. seriously. honestly. truly. (well, i'm out of words here guys :D). well, and maybe sometimes i don't share my deepest thoughts, but those hidden thoughts are not about you and us. hahaha, i've never thought anything about us that i didn't tell either one of you :D well, just don't care okay, im sure we'll come to it soon. and especially to you, Happy, don't think too much about the future lah, you'll get fatter. just enjoy the present. it's a gift man. i mean there's a reason why it's called present right? :D

okay, good nite. off to my reading :)