it has been raining heavily, not only here but also back in vietnam. and unfortunately, the water sewer system there is not as good as here, so there were so called "small floods" and water is all over the living room and kitchen floor. so dad had to get the water out (i don't know how) and build some high steps to prevent water from getting in again from the yard. talking with him online just made me feel worse about myself. i know he didn't think that way, but i feel like a irresponsible son. i spend their money here. i've been pampered eversince i was a kid. i didn't have to ask for anything twice. and now, when there is something a son is supposed to take care of, i'm not there. dad being optimistic about he's just only 52 made it even worse to deal with. 19 years they spent on me and now they still have to do that kind of things when i'm well capable of. why? oh just because i'm not there, i'm here enjoying myself.

the last few days have been really hectic. i didn't sleep for 2 days already, and scaredly i still feel so awake. and to make things worse, the hostel food is getting disgusting and unswallowable. it seems like they are having water shortage in the kitchen. the rice is super dry. if you touch the rice you may think it is not even cooked at all. and somehow the meals miraculously increase their suckiness just day by day, meal by meal. and too bad i can't or don't dare to go out and eat coz i feel like i'm wasting my time which i could well spend on mugging. that sounds so muggerish but i'm really paranoid by now. everything's been covered (at least i hope so) and now it's just D day. 1 more week, then it's life.

okay gotta go finish up gp and econs. it's starting tomorrow. sleep early tonight. good luck to me. the same for everyone reading this tonight (which i doubt :))